Irresistible
by Meriko-chan
Summary: Fye makes a bet with Kurogane and they both win and lose. Takes place between Piffle and LeCourt. Fluffy friend fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:** Rated T just to be safe, for language (come on, it's a Kuro-fic, there HAS to be coarse language) and a vague reference to two men in bed together. Story takes place between Piffle and LeCourt. Complete author's notes will be tacked on at the very end of the final chapter.

Many thanks to Ninja-America of deviantArt for being my beta-reader and characterization coach for Kurogane, allowing me to use some of your roleplay dialogue directly in this little fanfiction, and all the Tsuba-chat~ 3

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>Kurogane was bored. Or at least, he could have indulged in the luxury of being bored if a certain hyperactive idiot had been out of the way.<p><p>

They were currently stranded in the most unbelievably uneventful world in all the universes and dimensions that ever did or would exist, with no feather to find, no demons or monsters to fight, and not even anyone else's business to stick their noses into. The weather was fine, the climate temperate, there was forage-able food aplenty, the local fauna seemed utterly uninterested in any interaction, and though the travelers kept traveling on foot each day, they never found any signs of civilization.

They would have had the white dumpling warp them away after a cursory look around, but the little blob had plaintively reported that her magic seemed to be suppressed by some outside force. Dimensional travel was out of the question, and she had found that she could not even communicate with the witch to negotiate a wish to escape this place. An inquiring look at the blonde wizard had only received a helpless shrug and shake of the head in reply. Discussion and exploring had proven equally fruitless, but after ten tense days, the wizard had announced that he had some good news and some bad news.

The good news was that he could sense the dampening power waning slightly as time passed, and that he thought it might be tied to the ever-present moon that hung in the sky day and night, the shadow of some other planet creeping over its immense face and turning the pale blue sphere slowly but surely into a crescent. The bad news was that so far as he could tell, full eclipse was still about three months away.

The princess had seemed relieved and the kid resigned. The two airheads had done some bizarre little celebratory dance of hope and joy together and then fallen to plotting what to do during their little "vacation". Kurogane had cursed.

They had fallen into a simple routine within a couple of days. Kurogane and Syaoran would break camp in the morning while the others prepared breakfast, then they would continue walking in the same direction as the day before, still not discounting the possibility of finding people, and occasionally stopping to gather fruit and nuts, grub up some roots, or try to catch fish if they came upon a promising-looking river. A midday meal was taken whenever Fye announced that he would die in some ridiculously dramatic manner if he didn't eat something soon, which usually coincided with Sakura starting to look fatigued while trying to convince Syaoran that she was fine and didn't need to rest just yet. Kurogane would use the brief argument he always started with the wizard to keep them walking just a bit longer - endurance wasn't built by stopping at one's limit but by exceeding it, after all - but he never pushed it very far.

They would keep walking after the meal, stopping as soon as they found a suitable - or by the wizard's definition, "pretty" - spot to spend the night, and while the blondes and bun set up camp, Kurogane would continue training the kid in the art of sword fighting. About once a week, they would stay an extra day or two at a campsite and set snares and traps nearby in the hopes of game to vary their diet. Each day ended with a third meal and random conversations, firelight flickering across their faces and moonlight in their hair. It was undeniably peaceful, and though this world didn't have the elegance of his home country, Kurogane could admit it to be a decent enough place to be stuck in. He could certainly imagine worse places to have to spend a few months, and sometimes, when the wizard was in a quiet, contemplative mood, the ninja actually found himself relaxed and at ease, his shoulders loose and his attention wandering as he idly watched the two kids chatting comfortably together or the wizard's blue eyes soften and seem far away as they stared into the fire.

Totally unacceptable.

He became aware of the crisis one night after his thoughts drifted yet again and he came as close to dozing off as one could without actually letting their eyes shut. A sharp pop from the fire snapped him back to awareness before he began nodding. He blinked, tensed and found himself staring at nothing. To his chagrin, the nothing he was staring at happened to be in the exact same location as a pair of blue eyes that were watching him intently. And then that rat bastard smiled and winked at him.

Amazingly, it got even worse after that. Kurogane began to get up, declaring gruffly to no one in particular that he was going to sleep, and as he stood he realized with a shock that his hands were empty and that he couldn't recall exactly where he'd left his sword. Though he immediately caught sight of the weapon lying on his cloak nearby, it offered little in the way of actual relief. Just because nothing had jumped up out of the earth to consume them yet didn't mean that it wasn't going happen in the next few seconds, and though whatever influence the moon was exerting over the magical abilities of the others couldn't affect Kurogane's instinct and battle-sharpened senses, it all added up to exactly jack squat if he couldn't remain alert. The ninja decided that though he was keeping up decently with his physical training, his mentality was decidedly out of shape, and that needed immediate rectification.

Thankfully, the situation was easily remedied. He had been sloppy in letting it happen in the first place, but all that was required was for him to be aware of the issue and stay focused. Letting his guard down hadn't exactly resulted in any overt changes in his behavior so reverting to keeping it up went largely unnoticed as well. The kid seemed to pick up on it almost unconsciously and it appeared in his actions in small ways, such as more frequent scans of the horizon as they traveled and occasionally getting up quietly in the middle of the night to take a quick walk about the perimeter of their camp, but nothing was mentioned. The princess once ventured to ask if there was something on his mind and the bun accused him of sulking because there weren't any monsters to fight, both of whom Kurogane brushed off, one a bit more violently and literally than the other. The wizard at first just gave him a few quizzical looks and joined in on the white dumpling's teasing, but within a few days Kurogane suddenly knew that Fye - curse him - had figured out what was behind the subtle shift in the ninja's manner and was just waiting for an opportune moment to tease the will to live out of him.

It seemed that this world was not only boring and mage-incompatible but was also possessed of a perverse sense of humor, because the opportunity presented itself the very day after the ninja came to this realization.

The party came upon a large, shallow depression in a meadow late in the morning, like a giant's thumbprint in the grass. From rim to rim, the concavity was filled with heart-shaped leaves, delicate white flowers and berries ranging in colors from pale green and yellow to a rich, deep red. Tiny pastel butterflies fluttered through the perfume that the blossoms and berries alike were exuding, and fat bumblebees moved lazily about, exuding a low thrumming sound like a quiet purr.

"Strawberries!" Mokona exclaimed, leaping off of her current ride's shoulder and disappearing into the berry patch in a splash of white petals. Syaoran knelt and picked one of the red fruits curiously, then fell into a conversation with Sakura about similar berries called "Althea's hearts" in one of the countries he'd traveled to with his father. Fye joined in on the chatter while rummaging among the foliage - for Mokona or berries, Kurogane couldn't tell or care less.

The flowery, sweet scents drifting up from the sun-warmed plants tempted the ninja not at all and he stayed aloof, looking around while the others played in the dirt. A short distance ahead, a small river meandered toward them with an honor guard of dark bushes on either side, and a shift in the breeze brought with it a heavy, sticky scent that promised more ripe fruit hidden in those glossy leaves. Kurogane mentally groaned at the thought that the others would likely want to make camp here to gather provisions, and unless they came up with something as abysmally stupid as wanting to actually camp out at the bottom of the berry patch itself, blind on all sides, he really had no valid reason to make them move elsewhere.

Was it possible for a person to suffocate despite having plenty of air to breathe?

"Kuro-ruu!"

Here we go, Kurogane thought to himself resignedly, and turned to glare at the approaching man as hard as he could without damaging his eyeballs. Fye approached with a handful of berries and - good gods - some white flowers tucked behind one ear, coming up close and as cheerful as if the dark-haired man was smiling in welcome instead of scowling in warning.

"Mokona says there are berries by the river that make good travel rations, and we can fish and lay snares while they dry. I don't want the children to be bothered at night by the 'bum-bell-bees' though, so will Daddy go find a nice campsite somewhere a little ways away?"

"Drop that stupid joke already!" Kurogane barked, relieved that he at least had a choice of campsites and determined not to let any gratitude show in his demeanor. It was far more likely that the wizard had come to send Kurogane on this errand simply to pull out that joke about them being a family than that he knew the ninja wouldn't want to spend the night immersed in the cloying scent of flowers and fruit and was giving him an out. Grumbling under his breath, he turned without actually replying to the request and set off in search of a decently defensible spot with good visibility about the perimeter to spend the night in.

Fye watched him go, smiling wryly and nibbling on a strawberry.

"Daddy's not enjoying his vacation very much," he murmured to no one in particular, and then the smile turned positively wicked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:** Rated T just to be safe, for language (come on, it's a Kuro-fic, there HAS to be coarse language) and a vague reference to two men in bed together. Story takes place between Piffle and LeCourt. Complete author's notes will be tacked on at the very end of the final chapter.

Many thanks to Ninja-America of deviantArt for being my beta-reader and characterization coach for Kurogane, allowing me to use some of your roleplay dialogue directly in this little fanfiction, and all the Tsuba-chat~ 3

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>Kurogane surveyed the area with satisfaction. There was a copse of slender trees backing a low hill, dense enough to serve as a natural windbreak but not enough to provide cover for any dangerous predators - if indeed this world contained any other than himself - who might wish to sneak up on the travelers. It was within easy walking distance of the river but not close enough to make a nuisance of the tiny insects that generally swarmed about the waterways, and a decided bend to the trees indicated that there was a fairly constant and consistent wind traveling from the campsite toward the berry patch. Being upwind of the sticky-sweet fruits was a definite bonus to his way of thinking.<p><p>

He turned his face into the breeze, scanning the horizon and seeing exactly what he had expected to see; nothing. The sun and wind were both before him, so there were no sounds or scents or shadows to warn him of anyone approaching from his back, but he was possessed of more than five senses. Kurogane felt a familiar sensation - something between a prickle along his spine and a sudden tension between his shoulders - and turned around just as the cry rang out.

"Found you, Kuro-bee!"

"Stop mangling my name," he growled, his reaction almost as automatic now as the nicknames seemed to be for the wizard.

"Syaoran was telling us about something called a 'pair of ducks'," came the utterly unrelated response as Fye walked up the slight rise to the top of the hill where Kurogane stood. "Which do you think would win, an irresistible force or an immovable object?" Light blue eyes laughed up at him and the wizard's face seemed suffused with expectation and amusement. Kurogane could almost _feel_ the stupid follow-up comment welling up behind the other's temporarily shut mouth, and decided to try and avoid it by ignoring the question entirely.

It didn't even make sense, in any case. If there was such a thing as an irresistible force, then there couldn't be anything that was immovable.

"Why'd you leave them alone?" he asked, using irritation and the determination to stay battle-ready to put more anger into his voice than he actually felt. Upwind and almost a half mile away, he and the wizard were too far away to be of immediate help should anything happen to the other three, although he had to admit to himself - and only himself - that it was highly unlikely that they would be needed.

"No need to worry, Daddy," Fye laughed, patting him familiarly on the shoulder. "Syaoran is being a good, protective older brother and keeping a sharp lookout while the girls pick berries."

"Cut the 'Daddy' crap and get back there," Kurogane snapped. "Just because nothing's happened yet doesn't mean this world is safe." The blonde's response to this bit of sage wisdom and logic was to somehow manage to laugh and pout at the same time.

"Kuro-grump, they're fine. We're on vacation! You should relax more."

"We are not on vacation, idiot; we're stranded in unfamiliar territory."

At this, Fye gave him an infuriatingly patient look, standing hipshot in the waving grass and golden sunlight, his eyes half-closed against the tendrils of hair brushing across them and every inch of him looking loose and easy. He made such a carefree, peaceful picture that Kurogane suddenly felt slightly foolish for insisting on being watchful and wary.

And of course that just pissed him off even more.

"The children have learned to relax when they can and find enjoyment in the journey," Fye said, repeating the observations he'd made on Syaoran and Sakura as they'd watched the award ceremony closing the race in Piffle. His smile grew sly. "I think Daddy was starting to learn from their example, at least until a few days ago."

"Shut up. Go back."

"Nope, not moving," Fye chirped, shaking his head and smiling away. "That makes me the Immovable Object in this scenario. Guess what."

Kurogane sighed, able to see a dogged determination underneath the blonde's teasing demeanor. Maybe it would be faster to just rush through the conversation and hope for a turning or stopping point.

"_What_?" he asked in exasperation.

To his surprise, Fye pounced. To his shame, Kurogane was so taken aback that he neglected to dodge, and suddenly there was a lanky blonde stuck to his arm, laughing into his left ear.

"That makes you the Irresistible Force!"

Kurogane jerked back, much too late, and then tried to shake his attacker off without any success. Long fingers were dug into his clothing and Fye was keeping close to his shoulder blade, making it difficult for the ninja to grasp at him with his right hand and impossible to do so with his captive left. The airhead's usual modus operandi would be to tease his dark-haired companion to the boiling point and then scamper away out of reach of deadly blade that would invariably begin seeking his neck, so this close-contact attack threw Kurogane off balance in more ways than one. And curse it all, he couldn't exactly use his sword to scrape the idiot off.

Tempting thought, though.

"Get off of me, you stupid bastard!"

"I caaan't," came the sing-song response, made more infuriating by the fact that the lilting words were punctuated with laughter. "You're irresistible, Kuro-ruu, remember?"

Kurogane would have rolled his eyes over the wizard's self-serving abuse of language if he had the opportunity, but he was too busy trying to grab or at least whack some part of the leech currently draining what little he had left of his patience away. The ninja was suddenly glad that the world they were in seemed devoid of humanoid life forms because they probably looked like a pair of lunatics dancing around atop the hill as he tried to pry the wizard off.

"Wrong definition, you moron! What's your problem? Get the hell away from me!"

"Nothing's wrong with me; you're the one who's wound up too tight. You need to have fun sometimes or you'll die of a stroke, and then what would we do without Daddy?" The voice by Kurogane's ear rose and fell as Fye ducked and squirmed away from the rough hand seeking to do him bodily harm, and then a chuckle was muffled right into his shoulder. "No can do~ I'm immovable. Besides, you'd be lonely without me, Kuro-pin."

"Quit calling me those stupid names! Like HELL I would get lonely! GET OFF!"

The little tussle turned absolutely ridiculous as Kurogane found himself - the deadliest ninja in all of Nihon - unable to escape from the clutches of one dizzy idiot. Their movements became a circular dance as the ninja would reach around and the wizard would duck away, and the conversation followed suit. The "yes you would" and "no I wouldn't" argument would have done a play yard proud if not for the cursing Kurogane was adding in.

Soon enough Kurogane abruptly stopped in his limited tracks, frowning incredulously and craning his neck as far as he could to glare death at the mop of fair hair hiding behind his shoulder. The crazy bastard was actually _nuzzling_ him. Taking advantage of the brief moment of inattention, Kurogane shot his right hand out once more.

While merely clinging like a big blonde burr, the agile wizard had been able to evade all of the attempts to wrestle, pry and knock him off, but he'd ended up laughing so much over having been able to drag the stoic ninja into such a silly situation that he had to wipe tears away and the ninja's shoulder had been the only handkerchief substitute readily available. He should have known better than to drop his guard at all, and his laughter was abruptly cut off as one of the ninja's tanned hands finally found purchase across Fye's face, giving a hard shove.

Shocked but quick on his feet as ever, the wizard jerked back with the violent push to avoid a sore neck and then twisted away and out from the rough grip. A sharp tug on the shirt that he still had his hands fisted into brought him back to his original position, but when the pale hair had been tossed aside with a flick of the head, something in his expression gave the ninja pause.

It was as if that brief shove had dislodged the mask that the wizard always wore. It was still on, but fitted ill, and the disharmony between the smile and the overall effect was such that it did not simply give less of an impression of mirth than usual but rather disturbed the viewer more than an outright frown or snarl might have. The line of Fye's mouth was still curved up in one of his ubiquitous smiles, but it was fixed and fake in a different manner than usual. There was also an additional, indefinable tension in the way the wizard held his head and an unfamiliar hardness in the gaze unconnected to the surprise evidenced by his wide-eyed look.

The frown on Kurogane's face deepened yet further and he dropped his hand mid-way through another detaching attempt. He knew instinctively from the amount of resistance he'd felt that he couldn't have hurt the other much, but a line had still been crossed, perhaps.

The taller man found himself comparing the sudden unease in his gut to the sensation that raised the hair on the back of his neck during that critical moment just before a standoff exploded into a battle. The instant that followed the realization that he needed to upgrade an opponent from a potential threat to a definite one. When he knew that there was going to be blood.

He immediately filed the thought under "Stupid".

"You would," Fye repeated. To anyone else, the tone would likely have sounded light and casual, like something said simply to keep an argument going without any heat behind it, but Kurogane could hear the steel in his voice. "You'd be lonely."

"I'd be _relieved_," Kurogane growled, trying to glare a hole into the wizard's head so he could finally see what the hell he was hiding inside it. Or confirm that it was indeed empty.

"You'd miss the nicknames," Fye continued, elaborating as if the dark-haired man had asked for details or not responded at all. "And you'd start to look for me, wonder where I was and what I was doing."

"In your dreams."

"Maybe not at first, but eventually. You need me to keep your blood pressure down so you don't explode and take out an entire city as collateral damage," Fye teased, his manner still a mix of smiles and that strange tension. "You'd notice it within a week, admit it to yourself within a fortnight, and I bet you'd even admit it to _me_ before a month went by."

There wasn't any more vertical real estate for Kurogane's eyebrows to travel down, so he gave an exasperated sigh instead, to express his increasing annoyance. The conversation was getting more and more pointless and instead of running out of ways to say the same thing over and over and _over_ again, the blonde was just getting wordier.

"You are annoying the hell out of me; I bet _that'll_ never change no matter how much time passes. Get. Off. Go. Away." He gave a pointed shake of his left arm; not enough to be interpreted as a serious attempt to dislodge, but certainly enough to punctuate his words. Kurogane saw a faint twitch of the brows above those intent blue eyes, making him wonder anew what the hell the man was playing at.

"Is it a bet, then?"

"What?" he asked, his own tone of voice absolutely packed with meaning, managing to ask "what are you talking about", "what the hell are you smoking" and "what do I need to trade to that demon-witch to make this conversation _end_, for the love of all things holy" with just one syllable.

"I bet that you'll admit that you miss the teasing within one month," came the response, the words tumbling faster out of the wizard's mouth as he spoke. "If you don't, you can tell me to do one thing and I'll do it, no matter what it is. Color my hair pink, call you by your proper name, never talk to you again unless absolutely necessary..."

What remained of the shallow cheer covering the seriousness dimmed slightly during this explanation and trailed off entirely at the last part, and Kurogane wasn't certain if he'd heard or merely lipread the faint "anything" that the other man had tacked on in the end with a little shrug and head-shake. By now he was confident that he could read the emotions behind Fye's facade fairly well, even if he wasn't certain of the thoughts, but the signs Kurogane interpreted at that moment seemed unusual even for this mercurial manic-depressive. It was as if the conversation had gotten away from him and he was now being pulled along against his wishes, not knowing how to backtrack or even cut things off. He was challenging Kurogane but forcing himself into a dare.

"Fine," the ninja said after a moment's consideration. There was nothing to lose, since finding himself missing all of the mind-bendingly stupid nicknames and immature antics seemed about as likely as the princess getting a full-body tattoo of a herd of pink pigs dressed as schoolchildren. As for actually _admitting_ to the wizard that he was feeling neglected, the idea didn't even deserve to exist as a possibility to be scoffed at. It sounded as if accepting the bet would even buy him some peace and quiet for once, and that was well worth going along with this stupidity.

The blonde head tipped the other way inquiringly.

"Don't you want to know what I get if you give in?"

"No, because it'll never happen," he retorted, and tried to shrug the blonde away once more. To his surprise, Fye let go immediately, raising his open hands briefly as if in surrender. The shorter man's face was oddly blank, without even that non-committal smile he used to hide serious intent, that wicked smirk that sometimes went along with his "game face" or any one of the hundred stupid, shallow smiles he usually layered over pretty much everything. The sudden loss of the weight that had been dragging on him - it was just the weight; nothing else - unbalanced Kurogane just as the initial pounce had, and he simply looked at the wizard, not coming up with anything to say or do.

Blue eyes looked intently back at him, flicking back and forth slightly as if searching for something in his expression. The seconds ticked by until suddenly Fye gave a slight smile that didn't touch his eyes at all.

"We should get back to the others."

And with that, the blonde turned abruptly and left, and Kurogane frowned at his retreating figure for a while before following, shaking his head and muttering to himself under his breath.

"Crazy bastard."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes:** Rated T just to be safe, for language (come on, it's a Kuro-fic, there HAS to be coarse language) and a vague reference to two men in bed together. Story takes place between Piffle and LeCourt. Complete author's notes will be tacked on at the very end of the final chapter.

Many thanks to Ninja-America of deviantArt for being my beta-reader and characterization coach for Kurogane, allowing me to use some of your roleplay dialogue directly in this little fanfiction, and all the Tsuba-chat~ 3

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>There had been some long freaking months in his life already, despite his relative youth. The time he'd broken his ankle and been ordered to stay off his feet until it was properly healed. The first time he was old enough to understand the possible consequences when his father had to travel far and away to vanquish demons threatening Suwa's borders. The long string of uneventful days after he'd finally recovered from the injuries a demon had inflicted on him and been anxious to test himself in battle again. The spring that he'd finally forced himself to acknowledge that his mother would never get better. The months after his parents' murder.<p><p>

There had been months filled with unceasing worry that could be beaten down, buried under duties and ignored but never vanquished entirely. Months of pain and loss and rage that would take turns catching him unaware in unguarded moments. Months that threatened to crush him with grief.

There had, however, never been such an irritating month as this, with absolutely nothing to do but babysit and _wait_. He was suffocating under all the peace and quiet and he couldn't even let off some steam by yelling at or trying to kill that infuriating idiot, because Fye wasn't doing anything that warranted raised voices or attempted murder.

At least not overtly. It didn't stop Kurogane from wanting to kill him, however, especially when he realized the wizard had been right.

At first the respite from the infuriating nicknames and teasing had been a relief as Kurogane had predicted. The wizard had not substituted anything for them, however, and the ninja noticed the unfilled air between them after only a couple of days. He was no longer "Kuro-boing" or whatever the dumb nickname of the moment was, but neither was he "Kurogane"; Fye simply didn't call him anything. Not that he was ignored entirely, in point of fact. It was as if the blonde had flipped some switch in his brain and recategorized the other man as a nothing presence; something that existed but didn't matter.

Fye would listen when spoken to, making eye contact and responding when appropriate, but as soon as his attention wasn't strictly necessary, it would drift off. It wasn't desperate avoidance either; Fye just didn't seem to care to interact beyond what politeness dictated.

It was an act, of course. Kurogane couldn't see through it like he could the shallow smiles, but he shrugged that off as being due to unfamiliarity. He could hear the familiar falseness in the wizard's voice when the other man was speaking to the kids or white dumpling, and it was especially present when Fye was avoiding the issue of the bet. The sudden cease-fire between the two men naturally drew the attention and concern of the others. Fye evaded the round-about inquiries, deflected the point-blank ones and generally laughed the whole thing off as his version of a vacation. Kurogane could read in the body language and hear in the voice that Fye was lying as he addressed the others, but when those blue eyes were on him, all he could see was that strange nothingness.

It was an act, but it was a damn good one.

Kurogane noticed the unnatural state of things in just two days rather than Fye's predicted week, then spent the next few days focusing all his mental energy on _not_ noticing it, and finally admitted to himself that he preferred being a target to being nothing after six days, eight days ahead of schedule. Leave it to Kurogane to exceed expectations. He had lost the first two battles but vowed to win the final one and the war overall or else die trying, and by "die trying" he meant "kill himself".

After giving up on denial, Kurogane began picking up on little things about the blonde again. The attention that had formerly been concentrated on the ninja was now distributed among the others. Some chance remark recalled the virtual world of Outo, and the princess was now "Little Kitty" or "Sakura-kitten". Her nicknames grew even more elaborate than Kurogane's ever had been, often obliterating her name entirely. She answered to "Chikkoi Nyanko-chama" and "Chibi Nyan no Kimi" as easily as she did to her name, however.

To Syaoran fell Kurogane's share of those rare moments when the wizard felt like talking like a rational human being, and those moments seemed suddenly to come more often in this peaceful world where there weren't any daily occurrences to provide topics. The two magic-users had never been particularly chummy, Syaoran seeming to prefer the ninja's companionship and conversation - such as they were - over the flamboyant wizard's. Like called to like, and the boy was serious almost to a fault and probably felt more at ease with the taciturn ninja than the slippery wizard. Fye proved adept at leading into subjects that were sure to catch the boy's interest, however, and many hours went by during their walks and around the fire where the two spoke about different cultures and languages, architecture and utensils, agriculture and royalty, and drawing the princess and bun into the conversation more often than not.

The remainder of it all became Mokona's. She was mocked and teased incessantly and gave back as good as she got, and the two provided endless entertainment for the group - at least the contingent under the height of six feet - with their banter and jokes. The random pokes and nudges Kurogane had once suffered under mutated and multiplied, and the ninja watched the wizard tickle, roll, squeeze and cheekrub the white dumpling until he became surprised that she could maintain her egg-like shape under all this molestation.

The change in behavior was obvious once he stopped deliberately ignoring it, and after he decided that the wizard was just trying to rub the bet in his face by transferring and amplifying his attentions instead of merely suspending them, Kurogane even found it to be overdone. Waving something in his face wasn't going to make him grab for it, especially if he'd already declined to take it before. He scratched another "stupid" mark up for the moron.

The fuss and fun that the kids and bun fell in for died down slightly halfway into the bet, making Kurogane wonder if the wizard had given up on that particular useless tactic and had another up his sleeve. The princess continued to be subjected to nicknames but it was usually just "Little Kitty", and while Fye still drew Syaoran into various conversations, he also let the topics drift and more often than not, it ended with the wizard bowing out of the conversation entirely and letting the two kids continue the chatter on their own. The interaction between Fye and Mokona held up the most, with the only difference that Kurogane could spy out being that there seemed to be more quiet cuddling than quicksilver wit, as if the blonde were running out of the manic energy that had seemed so boundless before.

Fye began to sometimes slip away at the end of a meal or in the evening, offering to walk the outer perimeter so that Syaoran could continue to keep the girls company or going to fetch more water. He would go missing for longer than Kurogane thought was necessary for these tasks, though the length of time wasn't significant enough to draw anyone else's notice or actually make the ninja worry that the mage had run into the last surviving predator or murderer in this idyllic world. Once after leaving under the pretense of fetching more wood for that night's fire, the blonde returned empty-handed though they were camped near a wood with plenty of deadfall, and the next time he went missing the taller man furrowed his brow and very nearly got up to go after him and find out what the hell he was up to.

When he realized that he was in fact looking around for the idiot, wondering where he was and wanting to know what he was doing as said idiot had prophesied a couple of weeks earlier, Kurogane swore under his breath and spent the rest of the evening thinking uncomplimentary things about certain wizards, witches and dreamseers.

The third week of the bet slipped away with Kurogane still doggedly maintaining his usual demeanor; stoic. Or if he was being more honest; grumpy. The ninja was perhaps slightly more grumpy than usual, but it was nothing that could not be blamed on the fact that they were still stranded, with over a month yet remaining until the moon was in eclipse. In point of fact, he was just very focused on making certain nothing _but_ grump escaped his manner. In Piffle, Fye had proven that his eyes and brain did work upon occasion even if the brain-to-mouth connection was generally broken, and Kurogane was determined not to let the wizard catch any more telling glances that could be interpreted as interest, concern or - gods forbid - a sign that Kurogane missed the baiting and banter. He didn't put it past the annoying airhead to decide that "Kuro-whatever was looking all wistful and lonely" or some crap like that and claim it as a silent forfeit.

Death first.

Not necessarily Kurogane's.

And so he let the wizard wander off and wander back without comment and refused to give any hint that he had even noticed in the first place.

In the last week of the bet, Fye suddenly began speaking to him again. At least, that's how Kurogane automatically defined it in his mind, despite the fact that technically speaking, the wizard had never _stopped_ speaking to him in the first place. Now, however, instead of trading the bare minimum of words necessary to maintain a facade of camaraderie, there were simple questions asked and commonplace remarks made for no reason. After bowing out of a chat with Syaoran and Sakura, Fye would turn to Kurogane, pick up a thread of the conversation and begin a new one. Without much awkwardness, Fye still managed to avoid calling him anything, but other than that they seemed to be on normal footing, except that they weren't.

It wasn't so much the words, but the attitude. Fye was being polite, and though it was more real than the lukewarm civility of before, it was still pissing Kurogane off. There was something unnatural and awkward underneath the smooth, soft voice and unwavering smiles, as if the blonde felt the need to tiptoe conversationally from being too uncertain or unacquainted with the other man, and he knew that merely needing to suppress all the teasing could not have handicapped Fye's manner so much. They had communicated better during that half-year in Yama when neither spoke the other's language than in the past three weeks. Then, tone and facial expression and body language had taken the place of words at first, and they had become adept at both putting and reading a great deal of meaning into a single gesture or wordless vocalization. Fye especially, unable to speak except when alone with Kurogane, had become a master at communicating his thoughts with just a mischievous smile and an expressive look or gesture. Now, he would sit still and chat away quietly about nothing with a smile that was a mere curve of the lips that did not add any warmth to his eyes, and the things he left unsaid hung so heavy in the air that Kurogane found himself wanting one night to grab the wizard, shake him until his teeth rattled out of his head and shout, "SPIT IT OUT OR SHUT UP ALREADY! Stop talking without saying anything!"

Startled by the impulse, he abruptly stood, causing Fye to halt mid-sentence. He couldn't help shooting the blonde an irritated glare, and he caught the flash of bewilderment on the other man's face but ignored it and turned away, stalking off to turn in for the night without a word. He shut his eyes but lay awake for a while, listening to the sounds of the others settling in for the night as well and trying to determine whether he was more annoyed at the wizard for coming up with such a stupid idea as this bet in the first place or himself for being affected by it.

There were a few overtures the next day, but there was such a stilted way in which Fye approached him that it seemed as if the wizard were acting timid or even frightened of the reaction he might receive. It was such a blatant lie when compared against his usual brazen invasion of other people's personal space and the way he always knew exactly how far to push and what reactions he'd get that it irritated Kurogane all the more. Did the idiot think he was going to fall for some stupid whipped puppy act any more than he'd succumbed to being ignored?

At their next stop, it fell to Kurogane to replenish their water supply while the others prepared a meal, and he made the short walk to the river they were following with a small bit of relief at being able to get away for a bit. He knelt by the stream to fill their waterskins, but when he got up he paused for a moment and then glared over his shoulder. Fye stood a few steps away, hands behind his back and a faint smile on his face.

"Want help carrying them back?"

"Will you drop it already?" Kurogane snapped. Fye looked taken aback, and the ill-fitting smile fell off his face. "You quit the nicknames but you're still annoying as hell! Why can't you open your mouth or even _breathe_ without pissing me off?"

Blue eyes were fixed on him for a few stretched-out seconds, and then suddenly the old facade settled back onto the wizard; laughing eyes, smiling lips and an easy, casual set to the body. All lies, but at least he recognized these.

"Well, if I recall correctly, we established in Outo that I'm exactly the sort of person you hate. It's unavoidable."

"You-," Kurogane cut off the harangue welling up in the back of his throat, certain that even two hours of yelling wouldn't even make a dent in that thick skull. Frustrated and with nothing fruitful to do with that frustration, he finally just settled for a snarl. "Then avoid me. I've got one more day of this stupid bet of yours and I want to enjoy the quiet."

"As you wish." The blonde gave an uncaring shrug and walked away, leaving Kurogane to darkly forbode that he was likely going to find being avoided just as annoying as everything else the wizard had done in the past few weeks.

It _was_ annoying, but it was possibly his own fault for being too irritable to enjoy the peace and quiet he'd requested, because it wasn't awkward or overt. In fact Fye managed it better than any of his other little acts, and the kids and the dumpling didn't even notice it. Fye kept quiet for the entire midday stop by being slow at his meal, and then attached himself to the princess as they kept walking that afternoon, busying himself by picking long grasses as they walked and having her show him how to weave a floppy sunhat. That evening he lingered over his food again, and after feigning drowsiness, tumbled into bed early, taking a willing Mokona along with him as a pillow.

The next morning Syaoran suggested that they remain encamped where they were and make another fishing and trapping stay. There were no objections among the others and they soon separated to their chosen tasks. Syaoran and Fye set off to set snares in likely looking game paths in the meadows and sparse woods around their campsite, and it fell to Kurogane to babysit the girls as they fished. The princess had already proven adept at sensing the best places to fish, and the day passed pleasantly with just enough to do to keep them from getting bored, and Mokona happily choosing to nap most of the day away under Sakura's hat.

When he brought the girls back to the campsite with their day's catch, they found their woodpile replenished and Syaoran dressing some game. Sakura settled herself next to the boy and began cleaning fish under his supervision while Mokona enlarged the small fire one twig at a time in preparation for the last meal of the day and for drying and smoking some of the meat and fish. Kurogane assisted the white bun with the larger pieces of wood in between attempts to shake her off of his shoulder and threats to roast her, and occasionally glanced surreptitiously around the horizon to see if he could catch sight of Fye.

The sun began to dip low in the sky and a stew was bubbling nicely over the fire and still there were only three plus one blob at the campsite. The kid offered to go look for their missing party member but Kurogane gruffly waved him back.

"You stay here. Lazy bastard probably just fell asleep under a tree somewhere." Muttering something that was likely a threat of violence should he in fact find the wizard napping, he strode off.

Fye was not under a tree, nor was he asleep. Kurogane spied him silhouetted against the reddening sky, seated on an embankment near the stream and apparently lost in watching the sun set. He came to within ten paces without alerting the other to his presence due to a combination of direction, wind and probably a great deal of inattention on the wizard's part. Stupid. What if there'd been a hungry wolf wandering by?

"Oi."

Fye immediately half-turned at the succinct greeting, whipping his head around with startling speed, and Kurogane tensed. It wasn't the way the other man startled that had the ninja frowning all over again, however, but the expressions on his face. For a split second he caught simple surprise in the raised eyebrows and wide eyes, but by the time the fair hair had fallen away from those blue orbs now locked onto him, Fye's whole body was telling a different story. Slender brows drew down over narrowed eyes glittering daggers at him, and those lips that had worn so many different smiles were now pressed tight into a thin line bowed low at the sides. Kurogane could see a sudden tension in the wizard's body from the clenched jaw, past the stiff shoulders, all the way down to the fingers fisted tightly in the grass.

_This is what he looks like when he hates,_ came the thought, unbidden, and just as unexpectedly came an associated mental image of a tiger he'd once seen as a child. Bleeding, bound, helpless, yet still wild and fierce and beautiful and above all seething with rage because it was hurt and trapped. The slit-eyed pupils had been golden instead of blue but the memory still came on strong as he stared back at the wizard.

Without stopping to examine the associations his mind was making, Kurogane unthinkingly took a step forward, his original purpose of calling the man to the evening meal forgotten for the moment. He wouldn't have been entirely surprised if Fye had hissed and lashed out at him, but the blonde escaped instead, slipping off of the embankment and dropping down to the river's edge. By the time Kurogane gained the top of the rise, Fye was already some distance away, walking quickly back to the campsite. The ninja stood watching him for the space of a few breaths, frowning still, and then followed without a word, even to himself.

By the time he reached camp, the wizard was back to abnormal.


	4. Chapter 4

**Complete Author's Notes:** Rated T just to be safe, for language (come on, it's a Kuro-fic, there HAS to be coarse language) and a vague reference to two men in bed together. Story takes place between Piffle and LeCourt. I wanted to place it directly before Tokyo to make the sense of what Fye and Kurogane temporarily lose in that world more poignant and to strengthen the little bit of foreshadowing, but the transition between LeCourt and Tokyo was too seamless.

1 point for recognizing the "Princess Bride" quote. 10 points for getting the tiny "City of Wind" visual reference. 25 points for spotting the excruciatingly vague "Through the Looking-Glass: The Walrus and the Carpenter" reference. 50 points if you recognized the pig tattoo as inspired by Murikuri, with +25 points if you also remember the piggie from two different chapters of xxxHolic. 100 points if you suddenly thought of Shizuka Doumeki when Kurogane said "Oi". 3

I would like to point out that just as Kurogane mistakes Fye wiping his eyes on Kurogane's shirt as a deliberate nuzzle, he's misinterpreting Fye's "tactics" throughout the entire bet, and even the nature of the bet itself. Deep waters can't be seen through very well even when they're clear, and Fye has some really murky depths, so please do not take Kurogane's interpretation of Fye's thoughts and motivations as what's really going on in Fye's head.

I'm considering writing the same story out from Fye's perspective in order to explain his actions and reveal what he wanted out of the bet. I kind of want to call it "Immovable" just to mirror the title of this ficlet, but it's kind of a lame title in and of itself. XD

Many thanks to Ninja-America for being my beta-reader and characterization coach for Kurogane, allowing me to use some of her roleplay dialogue directly in this little fanfiction, helping me settle exactly how to word the last line, and all the Tsuba-chat~ 3

* * *

>There was a light touch on his shoulder and he came immediately awake, and having been startled awake when he'd fallen asleep with no real expectations of anything happening during the night, he went immediately on the offensive. Souhi was in his hand and the blade flashing silver in the moonlight almost before his eyes were fully opened, and he had his attacker pinned to the grass with one hand before his mind caught up with his body and he realized that he was half an inch away from slitting Fye's throat. The man's face was in shadow but Kurogane heard a faint, nervous laugh and a whisper.<p><p>

"Kuro-puu sure wakes up grumpy."

He briefly thought about following through with the throat-slitting, then realized that the wizard was back to silly nicknames. The month was over. Kurogane ignored the fact that he felt relieved while glancing around to make sure that his near-homicide - justifiable, to his way of thinking - hadn't woken any of the others.

"What?" he whispered - or rather, growled - back, impatient to know why he'd been woken up. The flippant greeting seemed to indicate that there was no immediate danger to be dealt with, but then again, the moron seemed to consider an opportunity to tease him important enough to pause for even in the middle of a battle. Fye responded by squirming out of his grasp and then getting up and walking off, pausing after a few steps to look back and beckon to the ninja.

Narrowing his eyes, Kurogane got up and followed, still contemplating murder.

The wizard stopped after a short walk, just far enough away to speak in more normal tones without waking the others. Kurogane looked back to confirm that he could still see the campsite clearly and that they were near enough to rush back if anything happened, and he distinctly heard a snort of laughter behind him. He turned back and glared, but before he could say anything, Fye spoke.

"I was wrong. _You're_ the Immovable Object," the blonde said with a wry smile. It took a moment for the phrase to make sense, but then Kurogane recalled the conversation that had kicked off this entire mess.

"Feel free to hold your breath while you wait for me to call you the Irresistible Force," he offered irritably. "What'd you wake me up for?"

"So mean," Fye complained, and then shrugged his shoulders. "I couldn't sleep."

Kurogane let out a long, drawn out sigh as he began to unsheathe his sword again. Fye stepped lightly forward with another faint laugh, stopping him by putting one pale hand on the end of the hilt and speaking once more.

"So, what do you want?"

"To go back to sleep." Seriously. Why was he standing here?

"No, Kuro-silly, for winning the bet. You get to tell me to do one thing, remember?"

He did remember, now that Fye mentioned it, but Kurogane was suddenly more interested in understanding how they'd gotten into this mess in the first place than claiming his prize. Despite how dumb the blonde played much of the time, the dark-haired man knew that the wizard had a good enough knowledge of his personality to know perfectly well that Kurogane would have never lost the bet.

"Why'd you make such a stupid bet anyway? You knew I'd never give in."

Fye continued to look at him for a few seconds, then dropped his gaze and stepped away.

"Yeah, I guess I did."

"So why'd you do it?" Kurogane persisted. The wizard looked back at him, his smile widening and one eyebrow quirked up.

"Are making that your order? That I tell you why?"

"No." He waited. Then he narrowed his eyes and cursed himself silently for being an optimistic fool and expecting to actually get a straight answer out of the idiot. Fye was standing perfectly still and just watching him with that same non-committal smile and the same cool, expressionless eyes he'd turned on Kurogane back at Souseki's temple after being questioned about the name "Ashura". It was a diplomat's mask; one that told you flat-out that there was nothing you could do to make the man talk about something he didn't wish to discuss. He wouldn't rise to any bait or give in to any cajoling. The door was shut.

"Tch. Do whatever you want," he muttered, and then turned to begin walking away from this pointless midnight meeting. An uncomprehending query stopped him, however.

"What?"

He looked back over his shoulder. The mask had fallen off for the moment, at least, and Fye was looking blankly at him, clearly not getting it.

"You heard me," Kurogane retorted shortly.

"_That's_ your order?" Fye asked, his voice clearly indicating his disbelief. Kurogane turned back to face him but did not respond, merely crossing his arms and waiting for it to sink into the wizard's thick skull. A few more questions came drifting across the cool night air, separated by long pauses in which he merely glared at the idiot.

"You don't want me to dye my hair?"

Glare.

"You're not going to tell me to ask the Dimensional Witch to turn me into a mink?"

The hell was a mink? Increasingly irritated glare.

"You're not going to order me to never speak to you again unless you're about to fall into a crevasse or something?"

Kurogane thought to himself that this last option sounded tempting, though he knew he didn't truly believe it to be so. He was growing exasperated now, not understanding why the moron didn't just take the easy out and leave it as that. It was as if he wanted to be given a ridiculous order as punishment.

Extremely scathing glare.

"There has to be _something_ you want me to do," Fye protested, and the ninja finally lost his temper.

"Of course there is!" he snapped. "I want you to stop butchering my name! I want you to cut it out with all the stupid jokes! I want you to stop acting like you're an idiot all the time, and stop looking over your shoulder and start paying attention to what's in front of you! And I want you to tell me why you'd make a bet you _knew_ you couldn't win!" Realizing that he was practically shouting, Kurogane bit off his words and glanced back to where the others were to ensure that there weren't any busybodies awake and watching. He clenched his fists, got his breathing under control and prayed for the conversation to get a little less annoying soon or else he was going to have to convince the kids that the wizard had mysteriously died in his sleep.

"But...instead you're just going to tell me to do whatever I feel like doing?" Fye queried, his voice a little less incredulous now. The ninja sighed. Why was the wizard so slow to catch up sometimes?

"Are you deaf or just stupid? Yes."

There was a slight pause during which Fye just blinked at him.

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life."

Kurogane took two long strides over to the other man and practically snarled right into his startled face.

"It's meaningless if you're only doing something because I told you to."

"You're always yelling at me to do them!" came the immediate protest.

"And it's up to you whether you do it or not!" he shot back, his patience pretty well depleted. Fye fell silent for a minute or two, at first staring up into Kurogane's eyes as if searching for finer details about their conversation in the taller man's eyes, and then lowering his gaze to the moonlit grass as if hoping to find dropped clues. The blonde glanced back at him briefly then looked away again, standing silent and still for a while, and when he finally turned back and took breath to speak, seemed much more collected than before. He looked like he'd come to terms with the concept Kurogane was trying to hammer through his impossibly thick skull, or at least come to some kind of conclusion. The blonde head tilted to the side and pale lips pouted in an exaggeratedly contemplative manner, and the ninja wryly steeled himself for whatever of idiocy might come tumbling out of those pale lips.

"So...hypothetically speaking, if what _I want to do_ happens to be crawling into bed with Kuro-sama one morning and then telling the children when they wake up that we're sleeping together because that's what Mommies and Daddies do...?"

"Then what _I'm_ going to want to do is kill you," Kurogane said flatly, but he was relieved despite himself to find the wizard back to his usual self, and couldn't inject much venom into the death threat.

"Duly noted," came the reply, punctuated with a chuckle. The air between them seemed suddenly to clear of all the tension that had been clouding it for the past miserable month with that little laugh, and Kurogane hoped that they could get back to the campsite and get some rest. And if the nut actually tried to crawl into bed with him there were going to be words. And blood.

"Are we done?" he asked, with a mixture of hopefulness and impatience, and began walking back without waiting for an answer.

Fye gave a nod and a light laugh and fell into step with him, but quipped, "Nope. We're just getting started, Kuro-rin."


End file.
